allen and ian… what

weird ones…

they seem to delight in making my cat afraid of the world… yet my cat will continue to

cuddle with anything that sits still long enough.

their new passion is pumping up a supersoaker gun and

spraying the air at him. plus the old standby of taking him in the kitchen and spinning him around on the

semi-slick floor. you can tell when my friends are over, because you hear a rhythmic scrape/swish noise…

that's the cat's claws, trying to dig into the wooden paneling.

plus, when i try to pick up

the poor kitty to take him outside, he claws into me. now i have a bleeding spot on my chest and these funky

backwards seven shaped claw marks… looks like a dyslexic 77. but in welts.

shalala

it's a

week until my 20th birthday. and a week until my trip to Utah. yeah, yeah… i know what you're all

wondering "what's a city girl like you doing going to Utah?" but my boyfriend is there… and

even though Utah was surprisingly enjoyable when i was there, his being there makes all the real difference

in the world. so i get to spend my time out there being with him, and trying to get a job and an apartment.

i really am trying to get out of this house… i've beed dreaming of being on my own for the last 6

years or so… but only now do i finally feel ready. i'm just sick of dealing with all this california

crap, with all the expectations everyone has of me, to be their "perfect little girl"…

my

boyfriend loves me the way i am. he doesn't demand anything of me except that i live my life to the

fullest, and do the things which make me happiest. he's the first person i've ever loved who

hasn't wanted to make me into someone i'm not. he's seen me at my worst, yet somehow, he

still loves me. he's seen me when i awoke from surgery, puffy, bleary-eyed, and miserable… he's

seen me after i primped for hours trying to look my best to impress him. he's seen me angry, he's

seen me depressed. yet after all this, he only cherishes me more.

so for all those people out there

who keep telling me that 20 is too young to tie yourself down to one person… tell me this. would you

rather be 20 and lonely and desolate, becoming more and more jaded as the one night stands and meaningless

relationships march exonerably into the dreary and bleak future of permanent singlehood? or would you rather

revel in the love of another person, who treats you like a wonderful human being, with repect and love, and

live in the hope of a future together with someone, never having to worry about being alone?

i know

i've made my choice. i hope you're happy in yours as well.

all i know is i'm at that

point… the moment of truth, where i decide if i am to become an adult and make it on my own, or if

i'm going to cower in my father's house for the rest of my life. i mean, it is scary, since my dad

doesn't seem to want me to move out…. sometimes he acts like he expects me to be here forever…. but

i'm ready to be my own person, not just an extension of his psyche. i dunno, i guess i'll figure

it all out soon enough.

woohoo! welcome to my new

diary…

i will be adding my older journal entries into this place too, but i'm not doing it

tonight, since i have friends over and we're watching "King of the

Hill."

…

….

…

okay, the ending of that one was dumb. but

whatever…

i'm feeling really out of it today, so i'm keeping this one short.

i think

it's because i was fully asleep when allen and ian came over, so i had to wake up and put on clothes

and all (wouldn't do to be all pajamaed in front of boys)

so yeah. once you learn more about me,

you'll understand what i mean. oh, and yeah! i forgot… this is a companion diary to my loverrly

website that tells you everything you never wanted to know about me.

see you later,

world!

^_^

ohoh, bad webmistress,

again! i am so horrible at keeping track of what goes on in my life. but then again, when every day just

feels like more of the same old thing, i guess you can't blame me too much. i'm thinking about

making a non-frames version of this, then giving people the option to go to either… but that means this

site may have another majo revamp… which i'm not up to. so i think my non-frames version will not

match my frames version, simply because it's too much work. and i need to get an AdobePhotoshop for

Dummies book. because i know there's a lot of cool stuff i can do with the program, but i don't

know how to do it! but i'm still patiently makin little dollz, i'll put them up for now, but

i'll make link codes for them later. because i'm lazy. but i might even get bored later today and

do it. because i tend to update my site in spurts. but anyhow. matty came down to visit me, and it was

wonderful… i just wish i could stretch 3 days out into forever. he left way too soon. but we had fun,

hanging out, watching movies, and of course, going to Disneyland. we had fun, and i had way too much sugar,

but i loved every moment of it. and he also decided in that weekend that he wants to marry me… no more

wondering whether or noth he's going to decide he desn't really love me… he wasn't sure of

anything, then he came down here, and i guess seeing me again just cemented it in his mind, and i think

he's almost as impatient as i am now. hmm… none of you happen to have 2000 spare dollars lying

around, do you? man, i thought not. oh well. as soon as i sell my bassoon and he gets a good-paying job, i

think we'll make it official, instead of some romantic pipe dream. but for now, i can only dream.

**sigh**

sheesh… at least i know

i'm not the sluttiest person i know… ! i just found out my friend "J" went out on a date

with this chick… and d00d! they got it on! it was their first date… hah! i'm not that bad. so i

feel vindicated. anyhow, i got sick of my silly games that would randomly crash, so i just took them down,

until i can get them all to work. and today was fun… i was thinkin' "hey, it's my day off,

i can sleep waaaaay in…" and i got a call at 10 am, telling me "the d00d who was supposed to

open didn't show, and could i please come work?" so i said "sure, lemme get cleaned up and

run to work" and after i get out of the shower, i get a call saying "j0, it's d00d, and

i'm at work, you don't gotta go in…." so i went back to sleep. and at about 12:30, my dad

tossed my little kitty into my room, hoping that he'd chew on me to wake me up… but instead, he

cuddled up on me and went to sleep, purring. so i didn't get up until 2:30 in the afternoon… ^_^

yawn, lots of sleep… anyhoodle… matty comes to see me in two more days, yay!

well howdy. after a week,

i think i finally picked the colors i like. it always comes back to green and burgundy. heh. not like

that's a bad thing, or anything. Matty comes to see me in just under one week… in fact, i'm

starting to count down the hours. from right now it's 164 hours, 16 minutes, and 26 seconds until he

comes. for some odd reason i get the feeling that i'm not really looking forward to his arrival. well,

maybe just a little bit. my only worry right now is the airport deal… i'm supposed to pick him up at

John Wayne Airport, but right now JWA is only allowing ticketed passengers past the security gates… which

sucks, since i wanted to be waiting for him there when he gets off the plane. but in a week, they might be

letting people back into the airport. otherwise i have to wait for him at the baggage claim place. and that

would just be soooo not romantic. i got him a *cute* present, but i can't say much about it here, since

i know he reads my news section. ha. oh, and i was lucky enough to get the last 3 days off of work. and i

got $20 more on my paycheck than i thought i would. plus, i had a chance to go through a bunch of my boxes

from when i moved out…. but i have to get ready to move it all back out in december. oh well. right now

i'm really leaning towards moving back to utah as opposed to going to hawaii… unless matty can come

to HI with me. otherwise i doubt i'd be able to handle another buncha time away. plus, if i go to

hawaii, my dad will probably try to make me move back home after a semester out there. and i'm at the

point where i want my own place. well, that and i'm starting to contemplate my future a lot more,

especially my future that might have a certain someone in it. he knows what i mean. well, by now i bet most

of you know what i mean. ^_^ i just know i'm in love… but i miss him a lot.

…

….

…

well, here i am two family movies and a page re-vamp later, and my

brain feels pretty twisted, but i think maybe it's starting to come together. just maybe. and i think i

mean more than just the website… i think something in my life is beginning to crystallize… perhaps soon

i'll be able to see it, and see what it means to me. 152 hours, 23 hours and 46 seconds. i'm still

counting… and i think it has to do with matt… well, i suppose we'll see how my life unfolds in the

next few months. i mean, i don't even know what's going to happen, so there! o_0 all i know is

right now i'm debating putting more space in between journal entries. i hope y'all notices i made

the font on this page just a little bigger, because i at least am going blind(too much peering into a little

computer screen at all hours of the night). but yeah. i'd like to hear back from you all with your

opinions on my new layout and stuff.

well, hello people who

want to read my life. hope you haven't been too bored. ^_^ today i just spent from 7:30 pm to 11:15 pm

working on making that little tinkerbelle avatar on my dollz page. that was a looootttt of work. and i want

to wear it into the Palace…. but if i do, someone will steal my av, and then all my hard work will be for

nothing. but oh well. maybe if i see it wandering around, i know i'll become famous. hah. really.

anyhow… today was fun. i went to the bank at 1 pm. i didn't get home until 2:20 pm. i had to wait and

wait…. and then my friend derek showed up at my house when i was in the shower…. but we wended up going

out to anaheim hills to meet up with will… in case you haven't read the rest of my site(you naughty

naughty person) will and derek are my old skool peeps… this means i have known them forever, but i also

haven't seen them in literally years… well, a year in derek's case, and like, 4 years for

will… so we went to will's house, and we watched "Adult Swim" from the cartoon network…

then we went to eat at this really tasty burger place out in the east hills… then i came home and started

working on the avs. wasn't my day sooo fun? and so now i write to you…. sign me
-Terminally Bored

well, i've just spent

about 3 hours updating this site, and doing a major overhaul on the color scheme and various other graphic

aspects. i've made my first official banner, added a web redirect address, begun a gallery(which is a

lot more work than you'd think!)i'm not happy with the colors i'm currently at, because i

realised halfway through the update that i was doing my site in my alma mater's school colors. i am

such a dork. but i also designed a new av of me, so that i can design a new logo to go with the even newer

color scheme(you have to guess from the banner. i'm not telling.) and i haven't even begun to type

up my poetry. i'm soooo split on all the things i want to do to this site. i just hope y'all are

enjoying all this hard work, even though nobody seems to be coming to this site. maybe i need to start

dropping flyers in random places. sheesh. oh, and i've taken up chatting on ThePalace… i might put

some help stuff for that up, if i get to it after all the updates to my site. i keep thinking i want to work

my clan tartan (from the scottish side) into the design of my page… i'm thinkin if i go to tables as

opposed to frames, i may use the plaid, somehow. or maybe just in my logo. i haven't figgered that out

yet. but yeah. enough about my site…. work has been boooring lately. but i think that's supposed to

be how it goes. my dad wants me to get a second job… but i don't know what i want to do. i mean,

i'm willing to get a second job, but they have to be able to work around my pre-exising employment

situation… i need someplace i can work days, because i am almost always working nights at the store… but

i don't want another job where i don't get a break and i can't sit down, because i'm

starting to feel like i'm falling to pieces with all the walking i'm doing. but oh well. my sis

has started school, and she's all gung-ho because she's going to the local college-prep academy…

hah. shge thinks now she's in smart-girl school she's too good to clean the house. i admit i do

have free time enough to clean, but that doesn't mean she should purposely leave her crap around for me

to clean up. argh. but i suppose i should expect it. i mean, the girl's almost a teenager! anyhow,

i'm going to mosey back to my logo-design and doll making hobbies. **fade out**

whew, another fun night

leading to a late sleep-in. last night after work, the jeep didn't work again, so we had to pop-start

it. funfun and fun. as i'm driving home, people keep flashing at me to turn my lights on…. except my

car has no lights anymore because of the stinky not working alternator. plus, a cop pulled me over and gave

me a warning telling me i had better get them fixed, otherwise i get a nasty ticket. it was interesting…

i'd never been pulled over before. but no ticket, no trouble. it was probably because they saw us pop

my clutch earlier… but still. ugh. so i went home and got on the computer… i found a fun link…(no pun

intended)

<a

href="http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=25945">ClickyClicky!</a> and now i bid

you adieu, and have a good day.

hahahahah! i'm

laughing. today has been a freak of a weird day. i'll start from the midnight hour and work my way

forward, for the sake of timelines. had to work at the video store last night until midnight, so when we

were waiting for morrison to check out his drawer so we could all go home, i put on one of my CD's and

just started boogieing down… until i realised that the video cameras were still recording everything in

the store. i thought to myself… dangnabbit, the owner's going to enjoy watching this tommorow, so i

firgured "why not?" and i just up and flashed the camera. not like naked flashing, or anything,

but it was still my bra. anyhoodle, morrison, allen, and i headed to my house so we could have another movie

nite at my house(we've got the 65" big screen TV with surround sound and all…) so we go home,

eat a buncha pizza, and we watched "3000 miles to graceland"… a pretty good movie, or so i

thought. i'm thinking maybe i need to start doing movie reviews, since, like, i work at a movie store

and i watch them all day long. but anyhow, after the movie it comes time to take the boys home… but they

wanted Slurpees! so we stop at 7-11, get them their Slurpees, and go back to the car to head home. except

the battery seems to be a little bit dead. like, my jeep won't start. so these papi cholo dudes come

help up pop our car… you know, the whole deal with the people pushing the car, and the stick shift….

anyhow, they got the car started. by this time, it's about 3:30 in the morning… so i take morrison

home first, cuz he lives farthest away… i didn't want to have to drive a long way home alone. then i

dropped off allen, the whole time wondering why this was the one time i left the house without my cellular

phone. like, duh. the ONE time i forget the phone is the time i'm freaking out because my car is dorky.

but i got home okay, and went to bed. yay. oh, and i got my first paycheck, too! $198 US. would have been

240, except for taxes. stinky taxes. anyhow, this morning my boyfriend calls me at 12:30 (well, maybe

that's afternoon) so i wake up to talk to him, for a little bit. and then i realise i need to get to

the bank before 2pm so i can open a checking account so i can start paying all my bills. so i rush to the

bank… i'm there by 1:35, and they're locked up tight. liars. they weren't open until 2 on

saturday. and i saw them in there, just hoarding all my money. not letting me get inside…. meanies. so i

come home, and i'm chillin, talking on the phone to my boyfriend, when my dad says "There's a

swashbuckler at the door to see you…" so i roll my eyes and think "dude, it must be jeff."

nobody else would randomly walk around dressed in full Ren garb. and lo and behold, it's jeff and

skippy! woohoo. so my boytoy gets off the phone to go out with rachel and gordon(without me!) and so jeff

and skippy come in. first they start wrestling with my dog. the dog beat skippy twice. and then the dog

started to like jeff just a little too much… we fed him some peanut butter, and then we decided it was

time for skippy to get all transvestited. so i pulled out my tight green dress, and he put it on… a little

flat though, so we stuffed him with socks… man. he made a better girl than a boy, regardless of the hairy

legs. i took pictures, they'll be up later. plus, he took one of my thongs that is too big for me… he

was wearing it, until he decided to put it on my dog. the dog thought that was a good time to start chewing

on the underwear… he got pretty possesive of it… oh yeah, and randomly throughout this, my sister Robin,

and her friend Robyn, kept running through the room we were in with a rubber severed leg, hitting everyone.

my sis kept calling it "her lover"…. i don't want to think about it. yes, it was a

life-size leg. anyhow, the dog decided he wanted the leg, so jeff used the underwear to tie the leg to the

dog's head… that was a little interesting. the dog was trying so hard to pull that thong off, but the

harder he tried, the more stuck it got. until he ripped it, and my sister rescued her leg and washed it in

the shower. jeff and skippy had to leave after that, cuz skippy is all responsible with a job and all…

except jeffy left his phone in my couch. so they had to come all the way back here to get his cell phone.

which leaves me here, typing this to you, before i have to go to work. hah. i'm still giggling

inside^_^

guess what? life is boring

right now. so i joined a poetry forum and sold my soul. and in exactly 3 weeks my Matty is coming to Cali,

just to see me! but if you want to buy my soul, <a

href="http://www.soulxchange.com/register.asp?referral_id=33554">click here</a>. then you

can play with it all you want. oh yeah, and i don't remember if i mentiond it or not, but i'm a

video store girl. like, it's so Clerks at my work. we even have the freaky porn. and we close early

too. but it's a fun job, if a little boring. oh yeah, and i'll put a link to the poetry forum in

my linkie section. luv to you all, and have a boring day.
(Ed. note-I think soulxchange may be down, it

hasn't let me in for a while)