Blogalicious

So I was in the kitchen getting Tinkerbell a cup of milk, and I come back in the family room, only to notice that my son appears covered in some sort of warpaint. For a moment I thought he’d gotten a glass of Kool-Aid and smeared it all over his face and arms (mental groan, that stuff is impossible to scrub off skin…).

Lo and behold, I asked him “Honey, what’s all over your face??”

He said “Oh mama, it’s boogers!”

I said to myself, ummmmm nope. Bloody nose!

So he at least agreed to let me scrub him down with some baby wipes, and I showed him how to hold the bridge of his nose, and instead of rubbing BLOOD all over his face, I asked him to get me for a tissue. Right now I hear him carefully going SNIIIIIIFF SNIFF every time he feels a nosey drip!

YARGLE.

PS: Am now CPR certified. I last night I ended up with the one “anatomically correct” dummy instead of the lumpy alien kind. I found out that to position my hands properly, I was basically grabbing the dummy’s boobies. Which were clearly very cold, and needed a bra. Also, she farted every time I gave her a rescue breath. I would be a bad rescuer, I fell over laughing the first time she did that.

Now all I need is the class in how to operate a defib, and I’ll be almost as useful as an EMT. I’m actually kind of wondering if I shouldn’t just go for the EMT certification, just because as someone only CPR/FirstAid trained, there are a lot of situations where my hands are tied because of Good Samaritan laws - like if I was at a Scouting/Primary activity, and a kid got stung by a bee and was disoriented enough to be unable to administer an EpiPen - I am not legally allowed to administer it, unless I want to risk almost certainly being sued by the kids parents. I can only guide the kid on how to do it to themselves. But as an EMT I COULD administer basic medications (But know that EMTs in some states cannot! They can only give oxygen. This link explains the situation a bit - http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/health/jan-june99/medicine_6-8.html) I would hate to be in a situation where I KNOW what to do but have my hands legally tied. The other situation I would hate to be in is one where a child is hurt and the parents do not give consent - you have a couple choices. Say for example, a kid is choking. But her parent/guardian doesn’t believe in medical intervention. You can either offer help, be denied, and watch the child choke and die (this does happen, much more frequently than can be expected) - or you can step in and help anyways, and face court/fines/jail for helping when not wanted - or you can somehow make the parent/guardian unconcious, which then gives implied consent, and you can save the child and face assault charges. If there is time to react, you can also call police, so that they can declare the child a temporary ward of the state, just long enough for you to get the child out of danger, but unless there are cops in the restauraunt with you, there generally isn’t time for that. So either you make the decision to break the law (And don’t expect a judge’s lenience!) or watch a child die. I’d never want to be put into that position!

Also, administering CPR is kind of a zen action - I had a little bit of a hard time keeping track of the 30 chest compressions in my head until I realized that 1/2 of the Jeopardy theme song is 15 seconds, and exactly meshes up with the tempo of the 30 compressions in 15 seconds! I could easily hum the song, even if I kept counting 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 13 13 14 15 16 16 16 17 17 28… I mentioned that to the instructor, and she thought it was brilliant, and that she’d mention that in her classes for other people who can’t keep track of the numbers (because quite frankly, you start CPR and do not stop until the paramedics come, the person sits up and asks you to stop, or until you keel over!).

So anyhow, ain’t nobody dying on my watch. At least not from bleeding out, or from frostbite, or not breathing, or choking… It does make me realize that my little emergency bracelet that only says “ADHD/Hypoglycemia” isn’t enough - I really do NEED to put my latex and adhesive allergies on there, as well as my meds and when I take them. Most ambulances use nitrile gloves now, instead of latex, but if they have to insert an IV, then anything they tape to me, I’m most likely going to have a reaction to. Ace Bandages, I’m allergic to the rubber compound that makes them stretchy… Yeesh.